≈ Today’s World Is Stressful. It’s Your Job to Manage It ≈

Some Thoughts On a Strategy.  

In the crowd I “hang” with, we agree on a lot. (Quotation marks because most of the hanging is done through texts, and phone calls, with occasional face to faces that require travel). We agree on favorite places we’ve been. Favorite restaurants. Favorite vodka. Bucket lists. Life philosophies. We’ve known each other forever.

And then there’s the stuff we don’t all agree on, worst places we’ve been, whether Clapton is the best ever, and restaurants, like the place everyone loves but one of us still actively warns complete strangers to avoid. Yes, and some politics, a little. Yet, somehow, miraculously, we still talk to each other and enjoy being with each other. No shouting. No unfriending. No dramatic exits from a group chat followed by an obscure social media meme. It’s a modern miracle worthy of study. This is called a choice. (Remember that word, it keeps coming up).

There are things we discuss that are personal, meaningful, and occasionally complicated. Good friends are good friends because you can be open with them and get honest responses and real support, not just an “I’m thinking of you” and a thumbs-up emoji. We also avoid topics that could be contentious because, because why get into them? Too many friendships have been burned of late, and the sad part is that it’s a choice. (There’s that word again).

So where am I going with this. Actually, it’s about stress in today’s world, mostly about managing it. Not letting it run your life like an unpaid assistant deciding which shoes you should wear.

By nearly every measure, we are an anxiety’d-out bunch. The reasons are plentiful. AI (my go-to for some info, and yes, I double check) says the big contributors are societal division, the economy, and personal health. That tracks. Add in a 24-hour choose-your-own-panic news cycle and social media-created friction (hey, outrage sells ads), and suddenly even ice-cream feels stressful.

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But here’s what’s interesting, much of what stresses us is completely outside of our control, and yet we invest in it as if stressing ourselves more will actually move the needle. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

So here’s where an ancient philosophy called Stoicism wanders into the room, calmly pulls up a chair, casually sips on its drink, and says, “You’re worrying too much.”

Stoicism isn’t about suppressing emotions or pretending you don’t care. It’s about drawing a very clear line between what you can control and what you can’t. Your thoughts, judgments, intentions, and actions? You can. The economy, other people’s opinions, global chaos, and that guy in traffic who thinks turn signals are optional? You can’t. Stress comes from confusing the two and then arguing with reality like it’s going to apologize.

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The Stoics believe emotions like fear and anger don’t come from events themselves, but from how we react to them. Change the reaction and the emotional stress drops, not to zero, but let’s face it, a little stress is good for you. This idea lines up nicely with modern psychological thinking, which is comforting because I prefer my ancient wisdom peer-reviewed and wearing sensible shoes.

That doesn’t mean opting out of civically expressing your feelings or pretending the world isn’t on fire. It means engaging thoughtfully instead of emotionally. You can stay informed without doom scrolling until your soul leaves your body. You can care deeply without letting every headline hijack your head. Our brains are wired to react to danger, and modern media is very good at hitting that button. Click. Panic. Repeat.

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Sometimes the healthiest response is to step away. Read a book. Take a walk. Touch a tree. Escape into another world for a bit. This isn’t avoidance, it’s maintenance. Like changing your oil but more often.

Life strategies help too, things like limiting time on social media, moving your body, and ready, don’t cut yourself off from the people you trust, your family and “family like” friends. Don’t deprive each of the support you get and give even if you strongly disagree on the important things, like pizza toppings and the evening news, it’s counterproductive.

The world may be stressful. Managing how you respond to it?

That’s a choice. That’s the word.

Please share your thoughts!